I love mothers! I mean, any woman who has ever played a motherly role in my life has been greatly appreciated. In our parts of the world, motherhood is only ascribed to women who have children or those we know who have specifically gone through the whole 9 months journey and have come out ‘successfully.’
This stigma is increasingly getting disturbing to women who havent bore any children yet or cant bear any at all. They are tagged as barren, infertile and all the very harsh words anyone can think of.
Freshly married women do not have the joy of enjoying their lives after a while when everybody starts asking questions about children. What is more annoying are the in-laws constant screams about grand children and the daily trolling on social media when a married woman has posted very admiring pictures of herself.
No one ever stops to think that some women who claim to be mothers by virtue of having children, actually do not have what it takes to be a mother. There is no clearly defined role of a mother than there are of women in general, taking inspiration from the bible (Proverbs 31) and other researchers.
Society seem to have carved certain roles a mother should play looking at the care and attention children require and the ability to balance wife, career and motherhood duties at the same time.
What motherhood actually is
Motherhood does not start from having children but it is the ability to monitor and observe the close friends or people around you and the courage and confidence to effect the morals you have in those people whether you bore them or not.
The mother who cant sit you down and tell you the harsh truths of life is not a mother. The one who gives you all the freedom in this world to make all the mistakes while covering you up does not want your wellbeing.
How about the one who maltreats her own children, cant keep her home together and does not value her morals is definitely a questionable mother. I have had several conversations with people who tend to rever certain women who are not their biological mothers and they actually refer to them as mothers.
We must understand that not all women will bear children but might have very great mother intuitions, this doesnt make them less of a mother. Having children is a gift from God and he uses the fusion of the male’s sperm and female’s egg to create a life.
This gift does not come in handy for everybody and should not make a woman less of herself.
In a BBC documentary I watched, it showcased three women telling their experiences as women without children, it was sad to see that they all had to go through certain levels of depression because of the stigma and pressure invloved.
First Ladies pledge to eliminate stigma- Associated with infertility, cancers
Ghana’s First Lady, Mrs Rebecca Akufo-Addo, and pledged to become ambassadors of infertility and partner with Merck Foundation to mainstream issues of childlessness in women which led to violence, discrimination, stigma and ostracism by the society.
The First Ladies of Ghana, Senegal, Botswana, Burundi, Central African Republic, Chad, Niger, Sierra Leone and Zambia made the pledge at the opening ceremony of the fifth edition of the “Merck Africa Asia Luminary” conference, in Dakar, Senegal.
In a report filed by graphic online, she gave an assurance that her office would partner the Ghana Fertility Society to demystify the name-calling associated with childlessness when empirical research showed that over 50 per cent of the difficulties to conceive was as a result of male-related problems.
The First Lady of Senegal Mrs Mareame Sall, said there was a good relationship between health and quality of life and promised to strive to achieve that for the people in Senegal.
For her part, the First Lady of Sierra Leone, Mrs Fatima Maada Bio, said there was the need to change the narrative and socio-cultural attitudes that compounded the issue of childlessness and called for an emergency programme to assist women, especially in her country.
I personally applaud the first lady for this initiative to attack the society stigma of infertility, depression and its related issues. Nonetheless, I feel that the ability to be a mother should not be defined by just having children. It should go beyond something more